The government paid me to lie to my wife

Hello again!

Lars here.

I used to do some interesting stuff under the ‘National Security’ banner.

I was allowed to talk about a good bit of what we did.

But there was some stuff that I would be thrown in jail for disclosing.

That’s not news to anyone, I don’t think. Most of us are familiar with the idea that militaries and intelligence agencies have secrets, and we generally accept that those secrets exist to protect our personnel in harm’s way, and also to protect particular technologies, processes, or relationships.

But there are two interesting spinoffs that occur as a result of this secrecy.

First (and I think this comes as a surprise to many people): in certain circumstances, we are required to lie to you.

It’s not optional. We can’t decline to answer the question. We have to answer, and the answer has to be a lie.

I have lied to my wife because the government made it illegal not to. Strange, right?

These can't be just any lies, though. We’re not allowed to make up our own tall tales.

We have to tell you the right lies.

We are given officially sanctioned falsehoods that we must tell you when you ask us certain questions.

These lies are called “cover stories.”

Regardless of our sense of personal honor and integrity, we can’t choose not to lie.

And in many cases, we can’t even choose to say, “No comment.”

An interesting corollary: it often does not matter who does the asking.

Such as those cases when Congress asks certain questions of us in open hearings. These are the men and women who make our nation’s laws and control the purse strings. Can’t we be truthful with them?

No.

We can’t.

Not at all.

We’ll get tossed in the klink.

Because very few senators and congresspeople have been allowed access to these classified programs. The rest of Congress and the Senate are completely in the dark.

So we are forced to lie to Congress.

For which, it should be duly noted and fully appreciated, we can also be thrown in jail.

Does that put us in a tough spot on occasion?

Yes. Absolutely.

If, for example, you are the head of the CIA or NSA and you are asked certain questions during certain congressional hearings, you don’t get to think on your feet. You don’t get to offer opinions, judgments, or professional assessments.

You tell the lies you were told to tell, and you tell them with a straight face, and you don’t back down, ever.

There is a small number of select senators and congresspeople who are “briefed” on the truth. They are also not allowed to talk about it.

But the majority of our elected officials have no clue, and they have no legal access to the truth.

Consequently, they have no idea that the questions they ask have placed many civil servants in extremely precarious positions.

I don’t mean to suggest that these questions shouldn’t be asked.

And I’m not saying that these security rules don’t whitewash some seriously shady shit. Security classification hides all manner of unsavory things.

Which brings me to the second interesting point:

What if, during the course of our duty inside a classified program, we come across something that is illegal, unethical, immoral, or even unconstitutional?

Who do we tell?

There’s a telephone number we’re supposed to call. It rings inside a special office. We are supposed call the number and file a report about the fraud, waste, or abuse we have discovered inside our highly classified program.

And then we go back to work doing exactly what we were doing before we made the phone call.

Sometimes, when just one individual is involved in the shadiness, things happen quickly. In severe cases, the individual may suddenly stop showing up for work. They stop answering their phone and email, too.

But other times? When you find really, REALLY big issues? I'm talking about systemic problems, like that thing that happened a while ago when someone finally told us that our government had been spying on us for years.

Nothing happens.

Nothing at all.

Because, odds are, when I find something big and hairy and gnarly and wrong, my boss already knows about it, and his boss already knows about it, and her boss already knows about it, and everybody all the way up the chain knows about it, and as a nation we’ve probably already spent billions of dollars making this big, hairy, gnarly, shady thing work.

Even if it might be illegal or unconstitutional.

Even if voters should probably have had a chance to weigh in before their rights were curtailed, for example.

Most people are shocked to learn that there is no functioning mechanism to report large-scale illegal activity inside classified programs.

This is the case because the foxes are guarding the hen house.

This does not sit well with a good number of people, because it definitely seems that the government is committing injustices deliberately and systematically.

A small number of these conscience-stricken people will become whistleblowers. They will go public with their moral, ethical, and legal concerns.

And what will happen to them?

Well, sure as taxes and sunrise, they will be labeled as spies and traitors.

(In full disclosure, I've written a few stories about spies and traitors, mostly because I find them completely fascinating. But I don't put whistleblowers in the same category.)

If you find yourself in the unenviable position of having taken a stand on your conscience against the US government, things will not go well for you. The president of the United States will lead the charge against you. Elephant party or donkey party, it doesn’t matter. The president will bring to bear just about every available resource. The government will seize every asset, interrogate every acquaintance, and detain every family member.

The “traitors” themselves will be pursued to the ends of the earth.

They will be forced to take refuge in “enemy” territory to escape the wrath of Uncle Sam.

“Justice must be served,” the big people always say.

But some folks, the ones who both know enough about how shit really works AND who are no longer required to toe the party line… many of those folks think the whistleblowers aren’t traitorous at all. Some think they are just people who might love their country enough to call out its injustices, even at unimaginable personal cost

Many of those folks call the whistleblowers by a different name:

Patriots.

Every case is different, of course. There are real spies among our ranks, people who sell or give our secrets to our "enemies."

But not everyone the talking heads label a "traitor" has actually betrayed their country.

For my money, America is a much better place because of Daniel Ellsberg.

And America is a much better place because of Edward Snowden.

We’re closer to living our ideals now than we were before those two risked their lives and lost their livelihoods to follow their conscience.

They gave us much-needed wake up calls.

Yes, yes, I’ve heard the same wailing and gnashing of teeth from the big-wigs that you have undoubtedly heard, and I'm sure many of you have joined the angry chorus.

And I can’t fault you if you have believed their claims. How could you possibly know the truth? How could anyone? We’ve been lied to for decades. Sometimes for good reasons, and sometimes for really terrible ones.

But don’t you find it interesting that all the politicians and civil servants seem to use exactly the same words and phrases in their condemnations of the “traitor”?

It’s almost as if…

They’ve been told exactly which lies to tell.

Hmm.

Until next time,

Lars

PS: Speaking of lies and traitors… maybe you enjoy a half-decent spy thriller now and again?